VIDEO: flat-tracking choppers with Guy Martin

"...and Guy Martin overtakes Super Mario on his Super Tenere!"

The date is 18^th July 2014. The venue is the Norfolk Arena, Kings Lynn. TT and TV star Guy Martin is in town as are a bunch of novice chopper-racing, fun-loving, bearded and t-shirted motorcycle fans who love nothing more than jumping on their custom built oddball machinery, the weirder the better, and ragging around a speedway track in one of four classes.

Welcome to Sideburn Magazine’s Dirt Quake III, an annual event where all sensible folk are refused entry and the safety briefing includes such recommendations as: ‘We will be giving bike a tech inspection to make sure they’re not complete death traps’ and ‘Mag wheels must be covered between the spokes (to stop a flailing arm going through)’.

The four race classes are Inappropriate Road Bike (IRB), Street Tracker, Chopper and Lady. The emphasis is firmly based on novices having a jolly weekend at minimal cost and we implore you to spend 18 minutes of your life watching this:

Keep an eye out for next year’s version, spectator tickets are only £10 after all.